At least make sure they are 18
Why
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
