we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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