similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
