youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
