Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
