My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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