omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
