She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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