I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize