I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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