just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
