just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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