i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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