ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
