I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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