I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
