So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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