Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
