I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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