Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
