Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
