i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
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