I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
