when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
