i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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