We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize