The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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