It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
