I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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