epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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