So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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