Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
