I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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