I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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