Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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