My brain says no but my pants say off.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
