foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
