Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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