Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
