I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
