ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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