she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So much Jack, so little girl.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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