I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
