it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
