He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize