A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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