And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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