the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
