you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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