You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
