its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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