I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
