do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
