That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
