I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
