I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
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